


I Know It's Over

by Coriander1975



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Light Angst, Pining, Post-Canon, Romance, Rydaal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-02 21:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriander1975/pseuds/Coriander1975
Summary: Sara had become such an integral part of his life that he didn't want to think about if- about when she would leave.Because it was inevitable, wasn't it, that she wouldn’t stay forever?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick drabble inspired by I Know It's Over by The Smiths. I'm not sure if it makes much sense, seeing as I'm writing this at 4am (why am I only motivated to write when I'm exhausted??), but I hope it's enjoyable in some regard.
> 
> Ok I'm going to bed now :v

It had been over a year since he last climbed into an empty bed.

The vacant quiet of his room was once a comforting, tiny island of privacy in the tumult of war. But only long ago, back before the living embodiment of a winter storm breezed through Aya, sweeping him up in her wake.

The first love of his life had been tall, compassionate, and beautiful. Her death at first broke him, and then gave the pieces that remained a reason to fight.

The second was alien, stubborn, and considerably smaller, but it made no difference. Sara was somehow everything he hated and everything he needed all at once. She was infuriating in the worst of ways; trying his patience at every opportunity, then pressing into his weak points until he finally caved and let her in.

What began as a fit of passion in a moment of weakness grew into a reocurring fling which, from his perspective, had the potential to become something greater. He was foolish enough to let himself hope, and wonder, and have _expectations_. He dreamt of a future where not a single Kett was left alive, and Sara would stay by his side to the end of his days (he knew she would outlive him, being half his age and seemingly immortal after surviving three separate tangles with death).

Visions of an impossible future lingered long after she left. His eyes would wander from the dresser where a hairbrush used to lay, to the lotions and sprays full of foreign scents that she'd forgotten to take when gathering her things. There was a chest in the corner, a closet on the far wall, some datapads strewn across the bed. Otherwise, the room was bare. The sheets were cool and scentless, a sterile white instead of her preferred pink.

Sara had become such an integral part of his life that he didn't want to think about if- about _when_ she would leave.

Because it was inevitable, wasn't it, that she wouldn’t stay forever? Evfra served his role as a distraction from her true feelings. Something to occupy her time until Jaal finally stepped forward and staked his claim.

 _I love him_ , she'd said, _and I...care for you. But this was only casual, right?_ Evfra agreed, since that's what they'd decided on from the start- though he felt as if he were being stabbed, repeatedly and violently, until harsh practicality steeled his mind and steadied his features. Sara didn't seem to notice the crackles of static snapping about his clenched fists.  _Great. Then, I guess...this is it._

And that was it. Sara returned to the Tempest, while Evfra returned home to put a hole through his front door.

Jaal sent regular updates on their missions, as his orders dictated, but there was a stiffness to his words that had never been there before. He didn't bother telling Evfra what Sara was up to, besides a vague description of their latest Vault excursion. He made no mention of her bravery, as was once his habit, nor her tenacity, kindness, stunning good looks- how did Evfra not see the signs sooner?

But if he were to be honest with himself, he _had_ noticed. For months he'd known something deeper was blossoming between the two, as feelings often do between the young and hopeful. An old man, steeped in bitterness and still stewing from tragedies a decade past, didn't stand a chance. He'd been cursed from the very start of the affair. This was a fact he accepted, and was fully prepared to face. Or so he'd thought, until the time came and he discovered that letting her go was like tearing off his own skin.

And now there were times he'd wake feeling weightless and exposed, one hand grasping at what used to be her pillow, the other splayed across his face to hide his grief from the nothing that resided in his room.

More months passed, and after being forced into a lunch break by the Moshae he learned that Sara Ryder was to become Sara Ryder-Ama Darav in three weeks time. Evfra was welcome to attend the wedding, as the Moshae had not so subtly implied, but after his third glass of tavum he decided that he would rather fight an Eiroch bare-handed, in the snow, wearing nothing but his Rofjiin. Even rolling over and submitting to the Kett had to be less humiliating.

Evfra returned to old habits of launching himself into his work- replacing memories of silky hair, wandering hands, and a voice that made him weak in the knees with battle strategies and casualty reports- because he'd rather be buried alive in busywork than spare another thought for the woman who'd rebroken his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt from @angrykittybarbarian on tumblr involving Evfra and any future Rydaal kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't exactly continue the first chapter, yet it's related enough that I thought it could be part of this fic rather than a standalone work. The previous events are implied but not directly referenced. Plus I couldn't think of a new title lol

Evfra didn’t hate children. He didn’t particularly like them, either, but he was far less likely to snap at someone too young to hold a rifle.

That being said, he still wanted no more to do with them than with anyone else. The most they would get was a grunt of acknowledgment, an awkward pat on the head, or a few words of condolence; depending on the reason for their meeting. Even these situations were rare, seeing asmost of Aya’s resident little ones learned from an early age that it was wise to leave the snappish general alone at all costs.

The exception lay in Sara Ryder-Ama Darav and her kids. Not a day went by where Ellen, Sam, Finve, or Khal didn’t get into trouble. The sisters Ellen and Finve fought for leadership of the group, while their little brothers tagged along and followed their schemes without complaint. So far they had collectively cost the Nexus approximately 2000 credits in damages. All accidental, of course, but their poor parents struggled to convince Kandros that they didn’t  _try_ to explode that terminal. The ancient piece of junk was simply not equipped to handle the complex program Aspiring Hacker Finve attempted to run.

Their resemblance to each parent was striking: Finve and Khal had typical starry-blue Angaran eyes and Jaal’s pinkish, freckled skin. Avela, being the surrogate mother, had given Khal a slightly darker, more purple hue. Ellen and Sam were undeniably Sara’s, with dark hair and grey-green eyes, though Ellen inherited Liam’s nose and bright smile. All four were adventurous, adorable, and well-loved; no matter how much damage their curiosity caused.

Yet when one showed up, everybody knew to brace themselves for the coming chaos. Fulfilling the role of Helus’ own Four Horsemen, these children heralded disaster and the destruction of personal property wherever they went _._

At this moment Evfra felt the prickling of static that often precedes a thunderstorm. The subtle shockwave was rapidly winding its way through the Headquarters towards his office. Though his back was to the doorway, he was aware of the very moment someone new entered the room.

Ellen. Of course. Not only was she the loudest and most brash of her siblings, but also the most likely to bother him at any given opportunity. She strode past the wall of terminals and holoscreens towards the huge bay window. Hardworking data analysts glanced away from their projects to nervously track her path, some debating if they should stop her. Those few who considered it decided very quickly that it was best not to get involved.

Evfra braced himself for impact.

Feeling a light tug on his Rofjiin, he snatched it out of her grasp. Ellen was not to be deterred. She stepped in front of him, defiant. “Hi uncle Evfra!”

The commander’s icy tone could have frozen Aya twice over. “I’m not your uncle.”

Ellen flashed him a gap-toothed grin, totally unfazed. “You say that every time!”

Evfra could feel his already minimal patience withering to a husk. He grit his teeth, the harsh lines of his face deepening in the beginnings of a scowl. “Where are your parents?”

“Shopping, I think?” Ellen shrugged.

The market wasn’t usually open so late into the evening. It wasn’t like Sara, nor Jaal, to let their offspring wander so freely. He wondered only for a moment what they were up to before deciding, ultimately, that he should not care. Aya wasn’t a dangerous city by any means, and Ellen was old enough- around seven, maybe eight- to handle herself for a while. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I wanted to come see my favorite un-!”

“I already told you not to call me that,” Evfra sighed, swiping a datapad from his desk. Maybe if he just kept working, she would get bored and go away.

“Why not?”

A squadron on Havarl was calling for backup. He approved the request before turning to the next, debating if they could spare the medical supplies for this remote daar on Voeld-

“ _Evf-raaaaaaa_.”

Would Techiix be in danger if he dismissed a few of their guards? They’d been requesting temporary leave for some time, wanting to see their families-

“You’re mean,” Ellen grumbled, crossing her arms and scowling at the floor.

Reports, reports, and more reports were suddenly flooding his inbox. Looked like Paraan’s secretaries finally organized that data he’d asked for weeks ago-

“Mom told me you were really nice. And she’s not a liar.”

Sara had talked about him?

No. No, he didn’t care. Evfra quietly cleared his throat, and everyone who wasn’t too engrossed in their work to hear it snapped to attention. He waved towards the nearest Angara and jerked his head in Ellen’s direction. They knew the routine. Nodding, they hurried out of the room and into the Aya commons in search of someone to collect the child.

Ellen noticed. She pulled herself up onto Evfra’s chair, only to be hoisted back up and set on her feet. “Hey!”

“You can’t just use someone else’s things without asking.”

“Can I sit there?”

He shouldn’t be humoring her. Scratch that, he shouldn’t be  _talking_  to her, period, but there was so much Sara in that cocky, defiant tone that he couldn’t help but roll his eyes and nod.

“Thanks!” She clambered back up carelessly. So carelessly, that her foot hooked on the armrest and sent the chair toppling. In seconds, Ellen was headed face-first for the linoleum floor.

An observer might’ve thought the child was rigged with an explosive charge by how quickly Evfra reacted. He practically leapt to catch her, slamming his shin against the desk in an undignified dive towards the floor. Ellen’s face ended up against his comparatively soft shoulder, though her ankle was likely twisted and possibly strained.

Fuming, Evfra set her back down on the seat _\- correctly_  this time- keeping her in place with nothing more than a cold glare. For once, a Ryder-Ama Darav child had nothing clever to say. She sheepishly obeyed his order to give the joint a cautious twist, wincing only slightly. Evfra huffed impatiently. “Can you walk on it?”

He felt the tiniest pang of guilt when she flinched, which he quickly suppressed. “Um…I dunno…”

“Try.” Ellen hesitated. Sighing, Evfra knelt beside her and offered a hand for balance. “I won’t let you fall.”

The child sucked in a deep, shaky breath, tightly grasping his hand, and slid off the chair. No strains, apparently. “It hurts a little…”

“Let that be a lesson,” Evfra snapped, halfheartedly. He registered his heartbeat slowing- just  _when_  had it gotten so fast- as a wave of something that felt suspiciously like relief washed over him. His bruised leg was starting to burn, and he closed his eyes against an oncoming headache.

He opened them again at the sound of someone sprinting through the door, skidding to a halt before their daughter. Jaal couldn’t look more embarrassed. “Evfra, I-”

“ _Do not let it happen again_.”

“Of course.” He caught sight of Ellen’s tiny hand, still holding onto Evfra’s, and the smallest of smiles tugged at his lips.

Evfra snatched his hand away and gave Ellen a nudge. Head hanging to hide her own grin, she followed Jaal outside. Evfra watched them leave until Ellen’s short puff of dark hair disappeared into the crowd beyond the Headquarters.

It  _would_  happen again. He was sure of it.


End file.
